Professor Walter's History Lessons

Worst Award Ceremony - Ever!

In July of 1991, the Clio Awards were set to be presented in Manhattan.  The Clio is the advertising industries version of the "Oscar" with awards going to the best and brightest in bronze, silver and gold.  The best and brightest in advertising were there on that Balmy Thursday, in 86 degree heat to see if they had won.  Many of the guests were from other countries, and all were dressed as one would expect for such an event.  There was one problem, no one from the Clio awards was there.

As they would later find out, Bill Evans the owner of the Clio, was in serious financial difficulty and his staff had left after missing one too many paychecks in the month of May.  Evans was not there either.  After an hour of waiting outside the doors were opened and everyone finally found their seat only to see an unfamiliar face at the podium, that of the head caterer.  While he did quite a good job, considering the circumstances, he never had a script and when clips were played, often out of focus or upside down, he had to ask people in the audience who made each clip.  Not to mention that no one had the winners list so no Clios were handed out.  Eventually he was booed off the stage.  Then things got worse.

A PR representative decided to take to the stage and continue the presentation, after one too many trips to the bar.  His lackluster performance turned the event into more of a circus, especially when he unexpectedly broke out in song when the band played a familiar Irish tune.  Then, as suddenly as it started, it stopped.  The PR man mumbled something about being out of script and wondered off the stage.  The helpless band played Hello Dolly, for the fourth time that night.

The audience sat in stunned silence, the stage empty except for the microphone and the Clio awards.  Soon the audience, disgusted with the display, began to make their way toward the door when one man in a tuxedo broke away from the crowd and walked on stage and grabbed a Clio waving it in the air.  Some in the crowd gasped, others cheered, and more still ran up to get one for themselves.  In less than a minute the Clios were gone.

The Clio was purchased by an investment firm and sold to a Dutch firm now called the Nielsen Company which still puts on the ceremony every year.  But none so far have been as memorable as the one in 1991.

-Professor Walter

The "lost" episode of Star Wars

In 1977 the world was introduced to a galaxy a long time ago and far far away.  They learned the ways of the force, of Darth Vader, the Rebel Alliance, and the Empire.  The success of the movie was unprecedented and it became the highest grossing film of all time.  Looking to capitalize on this success CBS-TV created a two hour Christmas special and aired it in 1978.  George Lucas had limited involvement and was not happy with the results.  Starring Art Carney, Harvey Korman, Beatrice Arthur, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamil the plot centers on Han Solo and Chewbacca's attempts to return Chewbacca to his home in time to celebrate Life Day with his family which consisted of  his father Attichitcuk, his wife Mallatobuck, and his son Lumpawarrump.  In the final moments of the show Princess Leia Organa gives a speech about the meaning of Life Day and sings a Life Day song to the tune of John Williams theme to Star Wars.

The response was as strong as it was for the movie, only negative this time.  The show was universally panned.  It was called "The horrible Holiday Special that nobody talks about" by Anthony Davis.  It has never been shown again or released on DVD/VHS.

However, I found a copy on the internet you may view here.

-Professor Walter

Nikola Tesla, the enabler of the couch potato

According to Wikipedia

"A couch potato is a person who spends most of his or her free time sitting or lying on a couch. This stereotype often refers to a lazy and overweight person who watches a lot of television. Generally speaking, the term refers to a lifestyle in which children or adults don't get enough physical activity."

The tool of the couch potato is the remote control.  With this item a person may change channels without leaving their seat.  Millions of people use remote controls, yet few are aware that they are over 100 years old.

On July 1st 1898, Nikola Tesla applied for a patent for the first remote control.  The US Patent office issued him U.S. Patent 613,809 in November of that year for his invention.  That year he demonstrated it at Madison Square Garden by controlling a small boat he had dubbed a "teleautomaton".  Tesla's invention was enhanced and used to pilot planes in the years that followed and in 1939 the Philco Mystery Control was released as the first powered remote control for a consumer product.  In 1950 the Zenith "Lazy Bones" was the first television remote control, although it was wired.  In 1956 the Zenith Space Command became the first wireless remote control.

Today the remote control is a core component of every home entertainment system opening up a world of programming without ever needing to leave your seat.

-Professor Walter

With each improvement comes greater success

In 1950 Jackie Gleason took over as the host of Cavalcade of Stars on the DuMont Television Network.  The comedy variety show had a collection of shorts, including one about a bus driver named Ralph Kramden called The Honeymooners.  The show was an attempt to capture the life of a married poor couple living in Brooklyn.  The success of the segment led to the creation of a new family sitcom in 1951.  Initial high ratings gave way to competition and the show ended as a stand alone production.  Although it returned as a sketch show until 1957 when Art Carney left.  Many credit this show with being one of the founders of the modern day sitcom. Three years after the end of the Honeymooners a new show would take off using many themes similar to the Honeymooners. 

In 1960 Hanna-Barbera produced a new show called The Flintstones.  The show was a prehistoric Honeymooners and ran from 1960 to 1966 on ABC.  In addition it spawned numerous specials and a few spin off shows.  The concept borrowed from The Honeymooners created the first primetime animated show which would hold the title of the only animated prime time show until 1989.

In 1987 The Tracey Ullman show on the Fox Network was looking for content and was pitched a dysfunctional animated family sketch by Matt Groening.  Groening conceived for the concept with James L. Brooks and The Simpsons were born.  Feeding off the same base that was built by The Honeymooners and refined by The Flintstones, The Simpsons was a distorted view of the family structure that existed previously.  Now in its 21st season with 423 episodes under its belt, The Simpsons has become a staple of Sunday night programming across the United States achieving a level of success never dreamed of by its predecessors.

With each iteration of the core concept there were successes and failures.  Each time refining the concept so that each success would be as enduring as possible.

-Professor Walter

The 1957 Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

In one of the most brilliant examples of tomfoolery, on April 1st, 1957, the British news show Panorama ran a three-minute segment about a bumper crop of spaghetti in southern Switzerland.  The piece attributed the crop's success to an unusually mild winter and the virtual disappearance of the spaghetti weevil.  The show's host Richard Dimbleby (a highly respected journalist) provided the soundtrack that ran alongside videos of people harvesting spaghetti and placing it in baskets.  The segment concluded with the line, "For those who love this dish, there's nothing like real, home-grown spaghetti." 

Spaghetti, of course, is not grown, but rather a pasta made utilizing flour, eggs and salt.  This segment became the most well know April Fools joke pulled by a reputable news organization in history.  The quality of the performance was so good that the station received hundreds of calls from people asking about spaghetti cultivation so that they could grow their own spaghetti trees.  The original transcript of the program is below.

-Professor Walter

It is not only in Britain that spring, this year, has taken everyone by surprise. Here in the Ticino, on the borders of Switzerland and Italy, the slopes overlooking Lake Lugano have already burst into flower at least a fortnight earlier than usual.

But what, you may ask, has the early and welcome arrival of bees and blossom to do with food? Well, it is simply that the past winter, one of the mildest in living memory, has had its effect in other ways as well. Most important of all, it's resulted in an exceptionally heavy spaghetti crop.

The last two weeks of March are an anxious time for the spaghetti farmer. There is always the chance of a late frost which, while not entirely ruining the crop, generally impairs the flavor and makes it difficult for him to obtain top prices in world markets. But now these dangers are over and the spaghetti harvest goes forward.

Spaghetti cultivation here in Switzerland is not, of course, carried out on anything like the tremendous scale of the Italian industry. Many of you, I am sure, will have seen pictures of the vast spaghetti plantations in the Po valley. For the Swiss, however, it tends to be more of a family affair.

Another reason why this may be a bumper year lies in the virtual disappearance of the spaghetti weevil, the tiny creature whose depredations have caused much concern in the past.

After picking, the spaghetti is laid out to dry in the warm Alpine air. Many people are very puzzled by the fact that spaghetti is produced in such uniform lengths. This is the result of many years of patient endeavor by plant breeders who succeeded in producing the perfect spaghetti.

Now the harvest is marked by a traditional meal. Toasts to the new crop are drunk in these boccalinos, then the waiters enter bearing the ceremonial dish. This is, of course, spaghetti -- picked early in the day, dried in the sun, and so brought fresh from garden to table at the very peak of condition. For those who love this dish, there is nothing like real home-grown spaghetti.

From Shoulder of Pork and Ham to your inbox

On July 5th 1937 the Hormel Corporation introduced a new product called Hormel Spiced Ham.  The product was a meat product made from shoulder of pork and ham meat, as well as salt, water, sugar, and sodium nitrite.  The product was not as great a success as Hormel would have liked, and the blame fell to the name.  Hormel Spiced Ham just wasn't catchy enough, so a contest was held to choose a new one.  The name that was finally chosen was an acronym for shoulder of pork and ham, SPAM.  

In a comedy sketch from Monty Python's flying circus, first broadcast in 1970, SPAM took center stage.  In the skit virtually all the food in a diner contains SPAM.  The theme is repeated throughout the three and one half minute sketch.  It is from the ubiquitous use of SPAM in this sketch that the term SPAM for mass-emails is derived, much to the the disappointment of Hormel.

-Professor Walter

Sometimes it is something simple like a schedule error that has the biggest impact

Seth MacFarlane is currently the highest paid television writer and producer in television history.  He has three shows currently on the air: Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show.  His success is unparalleled in television.  And it nearly ended before it really began...

MacFarlane gave the keynote speech at his alma mater on September 10th 2001.  The following day he went to Logan International Airport to fly home, but the wrong departure time had been given to him by his travel agent.  He was expecting to leave at 8:15 am, but the flight was at 7:45 am.  He arrived at the airport at 7:30am and the gate had closed so he could not board.  The flight he missed was American Airlines Flight 11 which was hijacked fifteen minutes after takeoff.  At 8:46 am the plane was flown into the north tower of the World Trade Center.  

"The only reason it hasn’t really affected me as it maybe could have is I didn’t really know that I was in any danger until after it was over, so I never had that panic moment. After the fact, it was sobering, but people have a lot of close calls; you’re crossing the street and you almost get hit by a car… this one just happened to be related to something massive. I really can’t let it affect me because I’m a comedy writer. I have to put that in the back of my head." - Seth MacFarlane

A difference of just a few minutes saved his life.  As a result television comedy has evolved and prime time animated adult entertainment will never be the same.

-Professor Walter

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, One of the Most Dangerous Invasive Species

In 1984 a new comic books was produced as a parody of the current superhero comics.  This new comic was called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT).  In the following years TMNT grew in popularity with comics, cartoons and motion pictures, even a show at Disney/MGM.  However one of the greatest impacts of this phenomenon was a result of a revelation in the second column of Tales of the TMNT comic book.  In that issue it was revealed that the turtles were Red-Eared Slider.

In the United States turtles as pets have been outlawed since the '70s (this is in the process of changing now) due to risk of salmonella.  However in the UK turtles were acceptable pets, and the popularity of TMNT created a large demand for red-eared sliders.  It is believed that when owners became tired of their pets they released them into the wild or flushed them down the toilet.  Once in the wild they flourished. 

The turtle is native to Mississippi, Tennessee and Cumberland Valleys of the United Stated.  The turtle is highly adaptable, and can hibernate in winter.  They are become aggressive meat eaters, and can hybridize with native turtles damaging the integrity of the native species.  As of today the red-eared slider is considered one of the top 100 most invasive species today.

-Professor Walter

The end of Bimbo was the effect of Betty Boop's transformation

In 1930 Fleischer's Talkartoons series release a new character named Bimbo.  Bimbo was an anthropomorphic dog, who had a poodle girlfriend usually called "Nancy Lee" or "Nan McGrew".  The character proved to be more popular than Bimbo, and evolved into a human.  The long poodle ears became large earrings and her black poodle nose became a button nose.  Within a short time she became Betty Boop and the star of the cartoons.  In 1933 Bimbo was eliminated as a result of the Motion Picture Production Code.

The code was a set of industry censorship guidelines which determines the production of the majority of motion pictures made in the United States from 1930-1968.  In 1968 the Motion Picture Association of America replaced the code with the MPAA film rating system which includes the familiar, G, PG, PG-13, R, and NC-17 ratings. 

Since Betty Boop had evolved into a human character, Bimbo was no longer a suitable mate since he was a dog which suggested bestiality.

-Professor Walter

Bimbo, Betty Boop and their dog Pudgy

"Just the facts, ma'am"

Started in 1949, Joe Friday was the Los Angeles Police detective in the radio show Dragnet.  In 1951 the show made the transition to television, while maintaining the radio show.  Often considered to be one of the first shows to popularize police drama, this show was created by its star Jack Webb.  Throughout it's long run the dry demeanor of the terse Sergeant Joe Friday became an American icon known by everyone.  The show's popularity outlived its creator, who passed in 1982, and continues to be a part of popular culture.  Ironically one of the most memorable catchphrases was never actually uttered on the show, "Just the facts, ma'am".

The phrase, actually, originated with Stan Freberg and his parody performance of St. George and the Dragonet.  Freberg was able to secure permission from Jack Webb, a Freberg fan, to use the same orchestra that was conducting the Dragnet show, often restarting, because the performers were laughing too hard during the performance.  St. George and the Dragonet combined the story of St. George and the Dragon with Dragnet, and the immortal phrase, "Just the facts, ma'am", was first made.

The satire went to #1 on the 1953 Billboard and Cash Box record charts.  The popularity was so great that Freburg revisited the concept later with Christmas Dragnet.

-Professor Walter